


Stupid

by bananannabeth



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: F/M, Percy and Annabeth's ADHD and Dyslexia deserve to be discussed more
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2018-01-04
Packaged: 2019-02-28 02:24:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13261644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bananannabeth/pseuds/bananannabeth
Summary: This was stupid.This whole thing, it was so stupid, and it made Annabeth feel stupid, and she wasn’t stupid, she was smart, gods damn it, so why couldn’t she do this? She was a daughter of the goddess of wisdom and she couldn’t seem to write a simple fucking essay.





	Stupid

 

This was  _stupid_. 

 

This whole thing, it was so stupid, and it made Annabeth feel stupid, and she wasn’t stupid, she was smart, gods damn it, so why couldn’t she do this?  _She should have been able to do this_.

 

She only realised she was crying when a tear splashed on to the page of her textbook, blurring the black letters printed on the white page. That tear falling felt like conceding defeat, and soon enough she was crying in earnest, sobbing hard enough that the words became even less intelligible than they’d already been.

 

She put her head down on the book and let herself cry, feeling terribly stupid and sorry and frustrated. Her whole face felt hot, flushed with anger and annoyance - at this essay, at herself, at the fact that she was a daughter of the goddess of wisdom and she couldn’t seem to write a simple fucking essay.

 

When the door to her room opened she instinctively straightened, grabbing her dagger and spinning in her seat to face the intruder. When she saw who it was she immediately collapsed back onto the desk, face first, letting her dagger fall to the floor. 

 

She heard Percy shut the door behind himself. There were a few soft footsteps, and then a gentle hand on her shaking shoulder and a quiet question. “Annabeth, hey, what’s up?”

 

She didn’t answer. For some stupid reason Percy’s care in the face of her vulnerability made her even more embarrassed. She just sort of… wailed. Pathetically.

 

Her arms were hanging limply by her sides, until Percy grabbed her hand and pulled her towards him. “Hey, come on. Sit up so I can see you.”

 

She resisted weakly for a few seconds, because she wasn’t sure if it would be more embarrassing to let him see her like this, or to remain face down on her book. In the end she let him gently hoist her up into a sitting position and spin her around so that she was looking at him.

 

He was frowning, a deep line etched between his eyebrows and his mouth turned down at the corners. His eyes travelled over her face, taking in the loose curls stamped to her forehead, her red, glassy eyes, the tear tracks down her cheeks. She quickly wiped her nose on the back of her sleeve, looking stubbornly down at her lap.

 

“What’s happened?” Percy’s voice was still soft, but there was an undercurrent to it that suggested he was more than willing to go after whatever had caused this.

 

Annabeth opened her mouth to reply, but her breath hitched and then she was crying again. Instantly Percy’s arms were around her, cradling her head against his chest. He ran his fingers through her hair and made soothing sounds, until she calmed down enough to pull back.

 

He carefully dropped down to sit on her bed so that they were at eye level. He looked even more concerned than before. His eyes flitted from her face to the contents of her desk, the open textbook, the blank word document on her laptop, the frustrated scribbles in her notebook, and realisation dawned.

 

When he looked back at her there was such sympathy in his eyes that she wanted to curl into a ball and hide.

 

“Got an essay due, huh?”

 

She nodded, swiping angrily at her eyes.

 

Stupid body, betraying her like this. If she’d been at camp, Annabeth could have gone and attacked a training dummy or twenty and gotten all this frustration out. But she was stuck at College, with not a training dummy to maim in sight, and so she was just crying at her desk instead.

 

“It’s  _pathetic_ ,” she growled.

 

Percy’s frown shifted minutely. “What’s pathetic?”

 

“This!” She swung a hand out violently, gesturing to the desk and then herself. “Me! Crying -  _crying!_ \- over a stupid fucking essay! I’m a daughter of Athena for crying out loud and I can’t even - I can’t -”

 

Her anger gave way to tears again, and she balled her hands into fists and punched her thighs. 

 

Percy shot his hands out and grasped her wrists, holding her steady. “Don’t,” he said firmly. “Don’t - don’t hurt yourself.”

 

Annabeth wrenched her hands out of his hold and roughly pushed her hair back off her forehead. She felt hot and clammy and useless, and Percy was staring at her so sadly.

 

She shot to her feet and began pacing up and down the small dorm room. 

 

“Why can’t I do this?” she asked, looking at the ceiling and blinking rapidly to prevent any more tears from falling. “I should be able to do this, I’m smart, that’s my  _thing,_ and I’m going to fail all because of a dumb essay -”

 

“Annabeth, come on. You’re not going to fail,” Percy said.

 

He hadn’t moved from her bed, but he’d angled his body towards her. She stopped by the door and stared at him, wondering if this was how he’d felt throughout all of his schooling. The thought terrified her, and a sick feeling of guilt began pooling in her stomach.

 

Seeming oblivious to the new layer that had just been added to Annabeth’s distress, he continued, “And even if you did fail, it wouldn’t make you any less smart. It’s just an essay. It’s only testing one particular type of intelligence, and you don’t need a letter grade to tell you how smart you are.”

 

He sounded like he was reciting that from memory. An image flashed to Annabeth’s mind of a younger Percy, listening to Sally say those exact words.

 

The guilt in her stomach churned. How many times had she called Percy stupid and obtuse and idiotic and dumb without thinking about the connotations those words held for him? No one had ever seriously called Annabeth any of those things before. Even with her dyslexia and ADHD, she’d always been able to show her cleverness. But Percy…

 

“Besides, you’re dyslexic and have ADHD. Surely they could make some sort of allowance -”

 

Percy abruptly fell silent as she crawled onto his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck and holding him tight, burying her face in his shoulder and murmuring, “I’m sorry.”

 

His hands wrapped around her waist and he held her just as tightly, resting his cheek on her head. “What for?”

 

“For calling you stupid,” she said around the lump in her throat.

 

Percy stiffened beneath her. She sat up, bringing her hands up to rest on the top of his shoulders. He was wearing a small smile, but it was obviously there out of nerves rather than happiness. His eyes were darting all over her face and she could tell that he didn’t know how to respond.

 

So she kept talking. “And every synonym for it. I shouldn’t have done that. You’re not stupid, you’ve never been stupid, and I was just being an ignorant little shit and you deserve so much better than that -”

 

“Hey, hey, Annabeth.” He could tell she was working herself up again, so Percy cut her off. He cupped her face in his hands, thumbs stroking the line of her jaw. “I don’t deserve any better than you. You’re the best there is.”

 

If he hadn’t been holding her face she would have looked away, but as it was she was forced to hold his gaze. “It’s a horrible thing,” she said, voice wavering, “feeling like you’re stupid. And I’m so, so sorry that I ever made you feel like that.”

 

There were no  _if_ s about it. Annabeth had no doubt at all that she hadn’t appreciated how smart Percy was, especially in the early years of their friendship. 

 

“ _I’m_ the stupid one,” she finished lamely.

 

“No, no, no,” Percy murmured, shaking his head. He leaned in and kissed her, softly and sweetly, speaking against her lips. “You’re not stupid, Annabeth. And thank you, for the apology. But there’s no need -”

 

It was her turn to shake her head, now. “No, stop, don’t do that. Don’t try and make me feel better about it, because I know for a fact that I did it and if I ever made you feel even a fraction of the way this essay is making me feel right now, then I - I don’t know how you even became my friend.”

 

The smile on his face was slowly becoming more genuine. “I became your friend because you’re an amazingly talented and clever person, and you make me feel like I can be talented and clever, too.”

 

She didn’t deserve this boy.

 

“I love you.”

 

“Oh, yeah,” he said, nuzzling his nose against hers. “And I sort of fell in love with you, at some point.”

 

She laughed. “Yeah,  _at some point_. Years after I fell for you.”

 

“See, you were right to call me stu-”

 

Annabeth cut him off with a kiss, pressing her lips roughly to his and cupping his face, too. When they parted for air, she kept her forehead pressed against his.

 

“You’re not.”

 

Percy smiled. “And neither are you.”

 

She sat back, running her hands through her hair and sighing deeply. “Right. I’m not. And I can do this essay. Dyslexia and ADHD or no.”

 

“Exactly. Here, pass me your textbook and I’ll read out the bits you’ve highlighted so you don’t have to worry about deciphering what it says and typing at the same time.”

 

Annabeth’s heart squeezed. She turned away to grab the textbook, closing her eyes and sending a brief thank you to the universe for gifting her with this boy. When she turned back around Percy had got himself settled on her bed, propped up against the headboard and his legs crossed at the ankles. 

 

“Ready?” he asked as she handed it over.

 

Annabeth settled back at her desk and poised her fingers over the keyboard. “Ready.”

 


End file.
